Episode 62: Wondering If There Is More To Life? There Is! with Donna Bond
Episode 62: Wondering If There Is More To Life? There Is! with Donna Bond
We were not meant to live our lives by simply going through the motions. Unfortunately, far too many people go through their days feeling unsettled and unhappy with their circumstances. Donna Bond is no stranger to this feeling. Transforming herself from a marketing executive to now a life and spiritual coach, Donna shares her powerful story of her refusal to accept anything less than the best that life has to give.
Alyssa Scolari [00:23]:
Hey. What’s up everybody? How’s it going? Welcome back to another episode. I’m really excited about the next couple months as we really dive into this fall season because I’ve got some awesome content lined up. I am so excited. As a quick little reminder, I just want to ask, if you haven’t done so already and you are enjoying what you are hearing on the podcast, please head on over to wherever you like to listen and leave a review and rating for the podcast. That does wonders in terms of trying to spread awareness for the podcast and to garner more support for the podcast. I love doing this. I want to continue doing it us. And one of the big ways in which I will be able to continue to do this is through your help and your support. So please leave a review. We also have a Patreon, if you are able to support that, that would be incredible so that we can have even more content. And you can find that Patreon either in the show notes or you can go to the website, which is lightaftertrauma.com and you will have everything you need there.
So with that said, I will dive right into who our guest speaker is today. We have got the lovely Donna Bond and Donna is a spiritual advisor, a business and life coach and the author of Original Wisdom: Harness The Power of the Authentic You. Donna is supporting individual transformation of consciousness and she assists clients across the globe and she helps them to evolve to new heights of meaningful success, personal growth and fulfillment and spiritual aliveness using the principles and practices of spiritual psychology. And I think it’s really important to note that Donna has a master’s degree in spiritual psychology, which truthfully, I’m not very familiar with at all. So I’m really looking forward to diving in and finding out what that is all about because I didn’t even know getting a master’s degree in spiritual psych was an option. So we are going to find out all the answers to those questions Tuesday with Donna. So hi Donna. Welcome to the podcast.
Donna Bond [02:46]:
Hi Alyssa. Thank you for having me. So glad to be here.
Alyssa Scolari [02:50]:
So glad to be here too. I am just for the listeners. I am looking at such a dreamy background. We’ve got Donna’s book in the background and then are those pink roses?
Donna Bond [03:04]:
Those are pink roses.
Alyssa Scolari [03:06]:
Are they real?
Donna Bond [03:07]:
Yes, they are real. I get roses every week as a gift to myself and as a gift to my clients and I just love the energy that they hold and the fragrance that they emit and they remind me to be soft and go with the flow and yeah, I love them. I love them.
Alyssa Scolari [03:31]:
Yes, I’m loving them as I’m seeing in the background. And they really do radiate just serenity. My eye keeps drifting over to them and I’m like oh, they’re so dreamy. Okay. So that was our rose corner. If you don’t have roses, get some in your home. I apparently need to go out after this and buy some roses. So welcome. And I wanted to start out by asking you one of the things that I was saying right off the bat in the introduction is you have a master’s degree in spiritual psychology?
Donna Bond [04:06]:
Yeah. With an emphasis in consciousness, health and healing from the University of Santa Monica.
Alyssa Scolari [04:15]:
So I actually did… I wasn’t even aware that you could get a master’s degree in spiritual psychology. Are those programs few and far between or is that something I’ve just completely missed the mark on?
Donna Bond [04:30]:
Well, the University of Santa Monica was delivering this master’s for about 35 years. Believe it or not.
Alyssa Scolari [04:40]:
Donna Bond [04:40]:
Yeah. And they actually are no longer delivering the actual master’s program, but they have re-imagined their offering into something called soul centered living, which is terrific because it really makes the program available to a wider audience. You don’t have to have any prerequisites or credentials to participate in the program. And the study of the program is you, right? You’re the topic, you’re the homework. It’s a journey into yourself. And a lot of the people who attend the program don’t go on to work in the field. Many of the graduates do. I have found my way into transformational coaching as a result of the program, but more often than not, people who participate in that program, they just show up in their life in a really different way.
Alyssa Scolari [05:49]:
Yeah. I love hearing you say that because that’s everything that I would imagine that master’s degree would be, is a deep dive into you essentially.
Donna Bond [06:00]:
Alyssa Scolari [06:02]:
Oh, man. I might be going back for another master’s degree. That sounds phenomenal.
Donna Bond [06:08]:
Well, the beauty, I know you’re in the Northeastern part of the world, the beauty of what they’re doing now is they’ve taken the entire thing online, which it’s certainly been amazing to sit in a room with nearly 200 people and have the depth of the experiences that we’ve all shared together. And being online is really cool because doctors who want to marry whole neck are incredible teachers. They are a spiritual masters of our time and being able to be face-to-face with them on Zoom all up close and personal is pretty magical and pretty special. So yeah, it’s a miracle really that anyone around the globe now can do this, but truthfully, when I was there, people would come from Dubai for the weekend.
Alyssa Scolari [07:12]:
Donna Bond [07:14]:
Alyssa Scolari [07:15]:
That is, oh, that’s incredible. Now can you tell me how… So, can you give me a little bit of backstory on how you made that decision to go for your master’s in spiritual psychology? Because as I understand it, you were doing something completely… You were on a completely different track in your life when things seemingly took a complete 180 for you.
Donna Bond [07:39]:
Yes. So I was in the world of hospitality for 28 years. I was a marketing executive working for the Ritz-Carlton at the time. And it all looked really good on the surface, Alyssa. It all looked really good on the surface, but deep down, I was really unhappy and I didn’t know it at the time, but I was developing a frozen shoulder, which was like this gorgeous, outward manifestation where I was in my life because I knew I wasn’t happy deep down, but I wasn’t doing anything about it. Right? So this outward manifestation of stuckness showed up in a really big and prominent way. And I have always been a spiritual seeker. If you saw my office, you’d see hundreds of books here. I’ve read it all. I love it all.
And so I had gone to see a psychic and literally crying to this psychic like I’ve got to find my purpose in life and the whole sob story. And she said to me, Donna, they’re spelling it out for me. Spiritual psychology. And I said what in the hell is spiritual psychology?
Alyssa Scolari [07:39]:
Donna Bond [09:01]:
Yes, literally. So she says, “Oh, there’s three universities that teach a program in this.” And one of them is the Center for Integral Studies, which is up in Northern California. She said there’s also Sophia University, which is also, I think, based in Northern California. Now I think they have a campus in Costa Mesa. And she never got to tell me the name of the third university. So I went home, of course, and consulted the real Oracle. I Googled it.
Alyssa Scolari [09:37]:
Donna Bond [09:40]:
And very quickly, right? And very quickly found my way to the University of Santa Monica. And I worked with this amazing admissions counselor. And it’s so funny to think back, and it’s not funny, but it’s just incredible to think back at where my mindset was at that time in my life, how I saw the world at that time in my life, which was very practical and logical and really through a completely different lens. And I have this very long exchange with this admissions counselor trying to get every question answered and taking on what I was perceiving as being a burden of a master’s program while I’m working a 60-hour a week job in this really intense high pressure corporate environment. And she finally said to me, “Hey Donna, why don’t we do this, just for one week and see.” And those were such magical words, right? It’s like that, when I think about it, time stopped in that moment as I was being invited into making such an important decision in my life. Yeah.
Alyssa Scolari [11:06]:
Yeah. Right? That one weekend. And it’s that feeling and I know so well and I can see all of the emotion in your face, but I know the listeners can’t see this, but I can see it and I resonate so deeply with that feeling of like it’s almost like it hits you and you’re like oh, this is it. Is that like along the lines of what you were feeling?
Donna Bond [11:35]:
Yes and no. Truthfully at that time in my life, there was not one bone in this body. There is not one cell in this membrane that had a belief system, that there was anything else that could be possible for me in my life other than what I had. And where I had already achieved the status and the success that I had grown over nearly almost 30 years. It was like oh, I was earning a certain level of income and I had a certain level of status and a certain level of respect and prestige that I had earned coming up through the ranks in my career. And there was nothing in this body that thought that that would be possible to recreate a whole another career in my life at the age of 45, which was when this all started. So there was a whole, there was this call to do this, but truthfully I did not know why. I did not know. I did not know why there was nothing logical about it.
Alyssa Scolari [12:49]:
So it’s almost like for the first 45 years of your life, you were walking around with a very myopic view on what your world was and nothing, you couldn’t see beyond. You had essentially blinders to other possibilities in your world. And I really appreciate the fact that you are sharing this happened when I was 45 years old because I think that there are so many people out there. And I know that there are people who are listening that get to a point in their lives, I think much like you’re describing where they’re like well, here I am. This is my life. I can’t see any other possibilities. Right?
I’ve been working as a nurse for the last 20 years and this is what it is. And deep down, right, they’re burying feelings of but there’s more. There has to be more than this. And of course it comes out in physical ways. Right? And a lot of times what we do is we go oh, I’m getting old. I got a frozen shoulder. Yup. That’s me. Right? I’m getting old. Instead of saying, right, what is my body telling me? So I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that. And I didn’t mean to interrupt, so continue. You can go on but I loved so much in what you just said that I’m like yes, it’s so important for you to be sharing this because it’s never too late.
Donna Bond [14:22]:
It’s never too late. And I’m 53 now and my new career is taking off. Right? It’s launching. I am having more fun than I have ever had in my life. And it’s been a journey. So I enrolled myself in this program and ignored my frozen shoulder for the better part of a year until I quite literally couldn’t lift my arm. And when I finally reconciled with what was going on with my shoulder and decided to actually address it, I had an experience where I was, I have to call it divine intervention because there’s really no other way to call it. But I was on my way to the Ritz-Carlton Global Leadership Conference. I was on an airplane. My shoulder was stuck. I mean, it was in so much pain, visibly swollen from the neglect. And I’m going to a conference where I’m going to drink too much and I’m not going to sleep and I’m going to abuse my body even further.
Alyssa Scolari [15:31]:
Donna Bond [15:31]:
And I was reading a book called Finding Your Element by Ken Robinson. And I was really excited about this book because I’ve been looking for my element my whole life.
Alyssa Scolari [15:46]:
Yeah. That’s the very thing you’ve been searching for, right?
Donna Bond [15:52]:
And I’m reading and he’s talking about how we play it safe. And he’s using all these metaphors and these analogies and he uses Mark Twain’s metaphor, “20 years from now, you’re going to be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than you by the things that you did do.” So sail away from the safe harbor, throw off the battle lines, explore, dream, discover. I think I just twisted that around, but you get my drift. And so as I’m reading this, all of a sudden, I feel like there’s this emotion that is bubbling up inside of me. And then there’s another line that says “What lies behind us and what lie before us are tiny matters compared to what lie within us.” And that’s a Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Alyssa Scolari [16:40]:
One of my favorites.
Donna Bond [16:41]:
But now, I feel like this emotion has moved its way up into my chest. And then I get to the clincher, this little eight liner that is by the poet Elizabeth Appell called Risk. That poem is often attributed to Anais Nin, but she didn’t actually write it. And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. And when I read that, Alyssa, my shoulder was the bud. My shoulder was that bud. And I just had this out of body experience as I was on this airplane suddenly having complete and utter clarity that I needed to leave my job.
At this point still, there’s not one bone in my body that thinks I’m going to be a coach, that even… This is not anywhere in my spirit, it’s not in my radar, it’s not in my consciousness. But I’m going to quit my job. And I just get this dose of clarity around this. And even though I don’t have a clue or a plan, I am clear that this is what needs to happen. And so I go to this conference and an important part of the story that I didn’t mention earlier was that as I’m evolving in this program, in spiritual psychology, I’m doing a lot of exploring of my consciousness and sort of testing out the laws of the universe. And I was doing an experiment where I was asking the universe to bring me an apple. And right before I left on this trip, I had sort of demanded the universe bring me an apple. Very random, no attachment to this whatsoever. I couldn’t care less whether this happens or it doesn’t happen.
Alyssa Scolari [18:45]:
Almost like you were testing the waters a little bit?
Donna Bond [18:47]:
Yes. Yes. So I had thrown this out there, right? So I had this experience on the plane, go through this conference. It’s the very last night of this conference. And my name was called to the stage where I am the recipient of the Western Regional Marketing Achievement Award for the third consecutive year in a row. And as I’m walking back to my table with this award in my hand, I’m even more grounded in my knowing that I’m out. I’m done. I’ve had an amazing career. I’m so proud of all that I’ve done and all of the gifts that this has given me and even though I have no idea what’s next, I know I’m done. I’m done here. Well, I sit down at my place setting and served before me is dessert.
And it is this incredibly elaborate apple dessert with apple confit and green apple sorbet. And apple this and apple that. And because it was with the Ritz-Carlton, they don’t miss a beat, there was a menu card. So there was no mistaking what this was that had just been set before me because the menu card is now describing in great detail this apple dessert. And so I sat there at that table and just let the tears roll down my face as I became aware in that moment of the part of me that is so much greater than anything that I have given myself credit for. Right? Than any of my belief systems or upbringing or conditioning or patterning that there is this other part of me that is absolutely indefinitely connected to the infinite universe and the intelligence that is everywhere. And it was like I collided with that. And it was fantastic.
Alyssa Scolari [21:07]:
Donna Bond [21:09]:
And it changed everything.
Alyssa Scolari [21:09]:
… that in itself felt like an outer body experience.
Donna Bond [21:12]:
Without question. Without question.
Alyssa Scolari [21:14]:
I mean, I have head to toe chills. When we’re recording this, it’s like the hottest day that we’ve had so far in summer over here in Pennsylvania. But I am covered in goosebumps from head to toe because that, it’s beautiful. I don’t have any other words that can do it justice. It’s just, you sought out the universe and the universe said hey, I’m opening my arms to you. And I love that. So did you end up quitting your job?
Donna Bond [21:47]:
I ended up quitting my job. Yes. That happened in March. I actually resigned. Well, I actually ended up going out on a medical leave of absence and having shoulder surgery and through my healing journey with my shoulder, I got clear about well, what am I going to do next? Because I needed to earn an income, right? That was a piece of it for me. So I decided to become a marketing consultant. And I thought I would pitch the Ritz-Carlton on hiring me to train my replacement to take my role as the director of sales and marketing there. So I ended up resigning in October of 2014 and I worked as a marketing consultant for about a year and a half. And still there was nothing in me that really believed that I was going to be sitting in these sacred, intimate conversations one on one with people being given a sacred opportunity to help them solve problems in their life and live into their next level of potential. But the universe kind of tricked me into it. And that’s true.
Alyssa Scolari [23:16]:
Yeah. So it’s almost… Right. So it’s almost like you had no idea where all of this was taking you. You just knew it was time to change, but you were going with it, right? You were surrendering to wherever it was that you were being led to.
Donna Bond [23:34]:
Alyssa Scolari [23:36]:
Which is a hard thing to do. Let’s not gloss over that because just being able to surrender itself, it’s very hard to do.
Donna Bond [23:46]:
It’s really hard. And then, I think first of all, I guess I have to say that I could not have done this without the support that I had through this master’s program at the University of Santa Monica. And really being wrapped in this container of not only loving, but this belief in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. Right? There was like this template that was being held for what was possible. And that’s why I love coaching so much. Right? Is because we get that partnership and you’ve got a partner who is believing in you when all else fails.
Alyssa Scolari [24:40]:
Donna Bond [24:43]:
Alyssa Scolari [24:43]:
I mean, I actually have a coach that I work with and that’s exactly what it is. It’s at the end of the day knowing there’s somebody there who’s still going to wrap you in safety and comfort and support along this journey.
Donna Bond [25:01]:
Yeah. [crosstalk 00:25:02] so there’s a lot of surrender They are. They are. And I definitely went through an undoing because my whole life was about my job and who I was at my job and who I was was my job. So there was a lot of identity crisis. There was a lot of ego death, right? Of just unraveling all of that. And this all happened within the context of my marriage and, which is still alive and healthy and beautiful and supportive and all of those amazing things, which is whole other story and a whole other interview. Truly because that’s a whole other book.
Alyssa Scolari [25:53]:
Donna Bond [25:55]:
I said yes to one thing at a time. And I guess for the people who are listening, that’s a really helpful way when we’re being asked to surrender. It’s like you don’t have to surrender to everything all at once, you just have to surrender what’s in front of you right now. And that is basically what I did. It’s like I took one little step out of my comfort zone. I took one little step in the direction of kind of where I wanted to go and then I let the universe fill in the blanks. And once I took that one little step, then the next step got revealed. The next step didn’t get revealed till I was willing to take that first step. Right? So there’s this give and take with the universe that I think is so important that we can’t opt out. Right? We got to stay in the game. We have to participate in our own forward motion. We can make a move and then the universe is going to meet us there and we can make another move and the universe is going to meet us there. But the universe isn’t going to meet us until make the first.
Alyssa Scolari [27:15]:
Yes. It’s almost a mutual respect. Right? It’s a mutual trust that’s forming. I think the way you’re describing it, it’s very, very beautiful and more accurate than what I’ve seen it described. Or as I think a lot of people think that it’s like well, if I ask for it, it’s all mine. Right? And that’s where I think things like manifestation sort of get taken… They take off, right? People take them to unrealistic heights because it doesn’t work like that. Right? You don’t sit down and write on a piece of paper I want a Mercedes Benz and a $6 million home and a $58 million yacht.
Donna Bond [27:57]:
And then you go sit on the couch.
Alyssa Scolari [27:59]:
Yes. Yes, exactly. So the way you’re describing it as is very, very beautiful.
Donna Bond [28:08]:
Thank you. Yeah. So that’s what I did. It was one step at a time. And I was in the, my master’s is in spiritual psychology with an emphasis in consciousness, health and healing. And when I was going through the consciousness, health and healing part of the program, we had to do a service project that was like donating. I can’t remember the number exactly. It’s like 56 hours of our time in service. And I had come through a mentality where time is money. Right? You don’t do anything unless you’re getting paid for it. So this was a really big opening for me in what is service? What does service mean and what does it mean to have a service consciousness? Right? And I think people sometimes mix up the difference between service and servitude, right? We are making ourselves available to something and we’re doing that from a place of wholeness, from a place of giving, but not from a place of depleting ourselves or betraying ourselves. Even that word comes word forward fo me.
Alyssa Scolari [29:31]:
Donna Bond [29:32]:
So my service project that I had birthed in my mind was that I was going to assist women who had small businesses. Actually a lot of coaches and healers and facilitators, I was going to assist them with growing their business and teaching them a little bit about marketing and giving them some more self-confidence. And this was the idea that I had. And one afternoon sitting around a pool at the Ohio Valley and Spa, I was with one of my girlfriends who was also in this program with me. And she said, well, can I be your first person? Right? Can I be the first person that you give these service hours to? And I said absolutely. It would be my honor to support you. I would love that. Well, when I turned in this project to the University of Santa Monica, it got denied that my service project was not going to fulfill the requirement or what I needed to do for my master’s.
However, I had already made this commitment, right, to this woman that I would assist her. And so I’m a woman of my word, right? I really operate with a good amount of integrity. So I basically said to myself, well, even though I had to now still find something else to meet this 56-hour requirement, I’m going to help her. I’m going to still help this woman. And that’s where the magic happens. Because when I sat down with her and got myself out of the way, it opened myself to be a channel for the divine and the universe was working through me in a way that was extraordinary and magical and beautiful and loving and compassionate and accepting and extraordinary on all of these incredible levels. And that is how I was invited into gifts that I had that really were laying dormant within me. And I had to put myself into a position that maybe I wouldn’t have normally put myself in to be able to discover those gifts.
Alyssa Scolari [32:12]:
Yeah. As you’re sharing your story, I can’t help but think to myself what a magical transformation. It’s been eight years, right?
Donna Bond [32:22]:
Alyssa Scolari [32:23]:
What a magical transformation. Eight years, even though it may seem like a long time, it’s so quick, especially for such a drastic change in essentially the way you view the world around you. It’s like a rebirth. It’s like being reborn and it’s powerful. Eight years. Eight years.
Donna Bond [32:49]:
Well, it’s so funny that you’re saying this because yesterday I was speaking with somebody and we were talking about the significance of a seven-year cycle. And so I had hung out a shingle, right, as a marketing consultant initially upon resigning my position. And I did that for a year. And on June 30th, a year into that, I made the decision to become a full time professional coach. And that meant saying no to any marketing gigs that might be coming my way. And so I have just completed that seven year cycle of being a full-time professional coach. And just as a side note, because we love the universe and it’s always inviting us to learn and grow, right after I made this commitment. Right? Like I’m a full time professional coach now. It’s my one and only. That’s what I’m doing. Didn’t I get a call for a big fat job.
Alyssa Scolari [34:01]:
Oh, of course. Of course.
Donna Bond [34:01]:
In marketing. Big fat job.
Alyssa Scolari [34:04]:
Because you were universe being, if it weren’t testing you. Of course.
Donna Bond [34:11]:
Yeah. So I said no and it was so ama… And listen, make no mistake, I needed the money. Let’s be clear. But I said no and that was fuel for the universe to help me align with where I was. And it all started there.
Alyssa Scolari [34:40]:
It’s incredible. I love hearing these things because it’s like it gives me life because there’s so much power to this. There’s so much strength and right. Touching on, even just saying like make no mistake, I needed the money, right? And I also think that’s something so many of us say. In fact, I found myself saying that last night, right? I am feeling at a place in my life where I feel very called to slow down and I’m getting signs like the universe was just hitting me over the head with signs that I need to slow down. And of course, I’m so good at finding all reasons to not slow down. And I also don’t want to gloss over how difficult that is for so many people to go, yes, I need the money. Yes, I have a family to provide for. Yes, I need X. Yes, I can’t do this because of X, Y, Z, whatever. To stop, to turn all that off and to just say no, no, because this doesn’t feel right for me. That is incredible. I just give you all of the accolades for being able to do that.
Donna Bond [35:57]:
Ca I share something about what you’re saying?
Alyssa Scolari [35:59]:
Donna Bond [36:00]:
Coming from somebody who had a regular direct deposit paycheck every two weeks, right, for 28 years, there was a lot of mindset shifts that really needed to take place as I became an entrepreneur and became responsible for generating my own income. I live in Southern California, right? It’s not cheap here.
Alyssa Scolari [36:23]:
Donna Bond [36:24]:
So one of the things that I became aware of and one of the things that is really in my teachings, in my book, Original Wisdom: Harness The Power of The Authentic You is about energy and that energy of doing, the energy of pushing and the striving and the going and the foreseen and the doing, that is an energy of contraction. It’s an energy of compression. It’s an energy to heavier denser energy. And when we’re in that energy, it’s harder to let things come into our experience.
So it became very present in my consciousness that when I am feeling the energy of lightness and freedom and joy, that is an energy that is more open and more expansive. That is an energy of allowing, that is energy of receiving. And so I began to do this experiment with myself where I would take a Tuesday, right? In the middle of the week, in the middle of the month, I would take a Tuesday and I would just go play. It didn’t matter. Let’s be clear. I have 101,000 things at my desk that could and should be done, but I would take a Tuesday and I’d find a girlfriend and I would go goof off. And I would do this intentionally because I wanted to shift the energy.
And in so doing invariably, I would get a call on my way home from somebody who’s looking to start a six month coaching journey or somebody who was inviting me onto their podcast or somebody who needs me to come into their corporation and consult. It never fails.
Alyssa Scolari [38:29]:
Never fails. You’re so right.
Donna Bond [38:33]:
So I just, I love to break ourselves out of the monotony of physical world reality and how we get trapped in our own BS. Right? There is always a different way and we have the power and the choice to invite ourselves into that.
Alyssa Scolari [38:58]:
Yes we do. And it’s not easy, but it’s so worth it. I think the other question that I wanted to ask you and I’ll ask you this before I also ask where folks can find you and things like that, but is it safe to say that this process can also be a bit, not cyclical, but I don’t find, at least for me, and maybe it’s different for you that it’s as easy as once you enter into the path of letting the universe guide you and saying no and saying yes and doing what feels right and creating more space for more play, more positive energy, you still can get stuck. Because you’ve spent so many years of your life doing things one way and then sometimes it can be tough. Right? Is that the case for you where you do have moments where you’re like, oh, I can sense there’s some bad energy. I need to kind of get things right again. It’s not just sort of like, well, everything’s rainbows and puppies and butterflies now that I’ve made this decision, right?
Donna Bond [40:14]:
Alyssa, are you talking about being human?
Alyssa Scolari [40:19]:
I might be. I might be.
Donna Bond [40:21]:
Yeah. Well, I think that’s what we’re talking about. And yes, right? So here’s how I see it. We want everything to be linear because that’s how we think the world works in our logical left brain-
Alyssa Scolari [40:38]:
Right. That’s what makes sense in our brains.
Donna Bond [40:39]:
… and our [crosstalk 00:40:39] Right?
Alyssa Scolari [40:38]:
Donna Bond [40:38]:
We want everything to have a clear beginning and a clear end. We want us to go in a straight line. We want to know all the steps and the return on the investment and how long it’s going to take. But the truth is we live in an ever expanding universe and I believe that all growth and transformation and all of the forward motion of this ever expanding universe happens in a spiral. So every time we make a lap around the spiral, we go out a little bit more and we go up a little bit more. Right? So then we take another lap and we go out and we go up. Then we make another lap and we go out and we go up.
And what happens, where I see it, is there’s like little sticky patches along the spiral. Right? And then you just made another lap. And you’ve been here before, you might have a little bit of a different perspective and there’s still something for you to learn.
Alyssa Scolari [41:47]:
Donna Bond [41:48]:
So it’s like you have a choice right there to open yourself and to be able to see what is your [inaudible 00:41:58] What can I learn from this? How might I grow from this experience, person, circumstance, trauma, right? Whatever it is. Or are we going to shut ourselves down, lock in, close up. Right? And we hop into that story as well. So I think what you’re saying is very, very real. I know that as long as we are in these human bodies, on this human adventure, we will continue to have those sticky places along the spiral. And transformation is about changing our relationship to something. And so if we can begin to change our relationship to how we relate to ourselves and how we relate to the world when we’re going through a difficult period, that right there can bestow many gifts.
Alyssa Scolari [43:08]:
Yeah. You’re absolutely right. And I also have to say as somebody who’s a very visual person, I am deeply appreciative of that visual that you provided because that is exactly what I was trying to say and that is exactly how it feels. And I also think that it’s very, very important to point that out because it really is a lifelong process.
Donna Bond [43:33]:
It is a lifelong process.
Alyssa Scolari [43:37]:
So now, what we heard from you today, is that just a snippet of all the things that can be found in your book because your book, it’s a memoir, correct?
Donna Bond [43:49]:
Yes. It’s a teaching memoir.
Alyssa Scolari [43:51]:
Well, yes. And because it also has a lot of nuggets of wisdom in there about ways to move through this process and for people to be able to start their own journey.
Donna Bond [44:05]:
It is definitely my journey and I did not set out to write a book. I actually set out to create a workshop, which I did. And over time, I wanted more stories that could support the teaching point that I was trying to make in my workshop. And before I realized it, I had so many stories that what I was describing literally was all of my experiences on my own transformational journey. And a little bit of rearranging with how the workshop went and it was suddenly like, oh, this is like my whole journey from beginning to end and how it all happened. And so in each chapter, there’s all sorts of fun, synchronistic serendipity. I don’t really believe in coincidence. I believe that everything happens for a reason. And that, of course there is a lot of deeper meaning to our life and our existence.
And so I’ve got all of those fun nuggets in there. And I offer an opportunity for transformation at the end of every chapter. So this is really inviting the reader to have their own experience with whatever the teaching point is. And so I give you the chance to engage with life, right? To take what you’ve learned and really apply it in your life in some way because that’s really the only way that we learn. And that’s the beauty of the University of Santa Monica and the programs that they deliver there is they are experiential learning. And this masters is not just something that wound up in my head, right? It’s in my body. I embody this work because I lived it, because I took all of what they were teaching and I applied it to my real life in a very, very real way. And I got the feedback from life, from the universe.
So I offer these opportunities for transformation, as well as something that I call a sacred truth activation. And these sacred truth activations are a series of affirmations designed to invigorate your spirit, to really call upon that authentic power that you have inside of you that is your original wisdom, right? My definition of original wisdom is the inherent intelligence in all beings that is rooted in unconditional love.
Alyssa Scolari [46:59]:
I love that. That definition itself feels like a warm hug to me.
Donna Bond [47:04]:
Yeah. Thank you.
Alyssa Scolari [47:07]:
I love it. I love it. So if people would like to work with you, purchase your book, where can people find you and where’s the best place to be able to purchase your book? Is it just on Amazon or is it in other bookstores as well?
Donna Bond [47:23]:
Alyssa Scolari [47:24]:
[crosstalk 00:47:24] supporting small businesses.
Donna Bond [47:26]:
Yeah, thank you. It’s everywhere. And you can go to donnabond.com/podcast and I have a gift for your listeners, four ways to get unstuck, which actually talks about the spiral and sort of what happens at each of the stages on the spiral. So if that is of interest and if they would like a signed copy of my book, they can get it there. And of course, it’s available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble and all of the book places in the world.
Alyssa Scolari [48:01]:
Oh, that was fantastic. Thank you so much. So to the listeners, all of this will be included in the show notes. And I think the last thing I want to say is I know that you have just said that there are no coin… Right? You don’t believe in coincidences and I do not either. And I have found that as somebody who… I started this podcast a year ago and this podcast is very much about… It’s about interviewing other people and it’s about learning about trauma and healing and all of the things that go along with that.
But I’m also very, very open and transparent with the listeners and folks about my own journey to recovery from complex PTSD and an eating disorder. And looking at the head space I was in last night, which was not a very good one to say the least, I am always so surprised that when I hop on for an interview, that topic and the conversation always sort of takes me exactly where I need to be for a shift, for a message, for whatever needs to happen within myself. I’m always learning that through conversations exactly like the one that you and I are having. So thank you so much for-
Donna Bond [48:01]:
Alyssa Scolari [49:26]:
… teaching. Yeah.
Donna Bond [49:27]:
Me too. Yeah.
Alyssa Scolari [49:29]:
It’s a beautiful thing. It really is. So I’m really, really grateful for your vulnerability, for the realism that you share and what this process and journey is like because it’s not all rainbows and puppies and butterflies. It’s scary and it’s beautiful and terrifying all at the same time. And still even knowing all of that, once you’ve started the journey, you can never go back and you wouldn’t have it any other way. So thank you so much. To the listeners, again, you will find everything you need in the show notes to learn more about Donna, to check her out, to read her book. I really appreciate your time today.
Donna Bond [50:21]:
Alyssa, thank you. It’s really been my honor to be here with you. Thank you.
Alyssa Scolari [50:26]:
Thanks for listening everyone. For more information, please head over to lightaftertrauma.com or you can also follow us on social media. On Instagram, we are @LightAfterTrauma and on Twitter, it is @LightAfterPod. Lastly, please head over to at patreon.com/lightaftertrauma to support our show. We are asking for $5 a month, which is the equivalent to a cup of coffee at Starbucks. So please head on over. Again, that’s patreon.com/lightaftertrauma. Thank you and we appreciate your support.